Understanding Edu-speak

I went to the school board meeting tonight to listen to the annual report. I arrived a bit late, so I might have missed some substance, but I doubt it. As I listened to the various administrators speak, I realized that they all were well versed in a language that I will call edu-speak. I am now prepared to take over for Dr. Hicks, when his lack of success becomes apparent to the community. The following is my proposal to enable Racine Unified to "move forward."

Objective data suggests that Dr. Hicks "New Chalkboard Plan" has not systematically addressed the needs of the community. We need, instead, my CPR Plan, which stands for Child Performance Reviews. CPR is needed to improve service delivery to the stakeholders as we move forward. With CPR, we will implement objective, measurable, child focused learning objectives. Systematic internal progress monitoring will drive the decisions needed to facilitate improved acedemic achievement, increased accountability, and improved student engagement. CPR baseline data, coupled with structured metrics and transparent benchmarks will enable internal stakeholders to drive improvements. Mastery of systems implementation among executive management and ongoing feedback from primary service providers will result in improved resource allocation, instructional efficiences as well as measureable external customer satisfaction improvements. I mean no disrespect to our former CEO, but I think it is time for CPR.

Now if my education proposal is not clear to you, be assured that as I move forward, my communication effectiveness with community stakeholders will be objectively measured through the focused use of industry standard interface evaluation techniques. The data suggests that external stakeholders will appreciate the implementation of a transparent, coherent, easily mastered communication delivery approach. So I may as well start now.

Most education experts are full of shit.