Monday, August 21, 2006

Understanding Edu-speak

I went to the school board meeting tonight to listen to the annual report. I arrived a bit late, so I might have missed some substance, but I doubt it. As I listened to the various administrators speak, I realized that they all were well versed in a language that I will call edu-speak. I am now prepared to take over for Dr. Hicks, when his lack of success becomes apparent to the community. The following is my proposal to enable Racine Unified to "move forward."

Objective data suggests that Dr. Hicks "New Chalkboard Plan" has not systematically addressed the needs of the community. We need, instead, my CPR Plan, which stands for Child Performance Reviews. CPR is needed to improve service delivery to the stakeholders as we move forward. With CPR, we will implement objective, measurable, child focused learning objectives. Systematic internal progress monitoring will drive the decisions needed to facilitate improved acedemic achievement, increased accountability, and improved student engagement. CPR baseline data, coupled with structured metrics and transparent benchmarks will enable internal stakeholders to drive improvements. Mastery of systems implementation among executive management and ongoing feedback from primary service providers will result in improved resource allocation, instructional efficiences as well as measureable external customer satisfaction improvements. I mean no disrespect to our former CEO, but I think it is time for CPR.

Now if my education proposal is not clear to you, be assured that as I move forward, my communication effectiveness with community stakeholders will be objectively measured through the focused use of industry standard interface evaluation techniques. The data suggests that external stakeholders will appreciate the implementation of a transparent, coherent, easily mastered communication delivery approach. So I may as well start now.

Most education experts are full of shit.

7 comments:

Brenda said...

Priceless post! I have to make room on my refrigerator for this one!

Denis Navratil said...

I am glad that you liked the post. If you can't cry, you can at least laugh.

Kathy said...

Denis, I have an appreciation for your dissertation on manipulation through vocabulary intimidation.My contemplation on the communication, misrepresentation, and extrapolation of the information has been an aggravation. The continuation of consultation of the information is an exploitation, of which the eventuation is the stagnation of a generation, and that's an intoleration! In termination of this summation, I concur, and echo your indignation that there is truly a saturation of fertilization in education. :)

Denis Navratil said...

Well said Kathy. Its an abomination!

Brenda said...

Denis, I included a link to this on my site. Thanks again for pointing out the absurdity!

http://racines-report.blogspot.com/2006/08/edu-speak-lexicon.html

Denis Navratil said...

Thanks Brenda.

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