Friday, September 10, 2010

Free Merchandise Offer

Regular readers of Free Racine probably know that I own a business downtown and that I rarely mention it by name on this blog as I prefer to separate my business interests from my political interests as much as possible.

Today however I am faced with an awkward dilemma. There is a rather large Tea Party rally scheduled for downtown Racine tomorrow and merchants have been asked to give a symbolic tax break (note to WI Department of Revenue, I really mean a discount) of 5.1% to customers.

I normally participate in any and all downtown events but this one has a decidedly political tone about it despite claims to contrary. Additionally, the attendants are regularly met with scorn and accusations of racism, sexism, homophobism, Islamaphobism etc... from a good portion of the electorate. I would rather not have my business associated with those disgusting attributes.

So what to do? I am damned if I participate and damned if I don't.

I think I have a solution. Yes, I will offer a 5.1% discount to any and all customers on Saturday. But in an effort to distance myself from the ism and phobia crowd, I will make an even better offer to their detractors. I hereby announce, in a spirit of nonpartisan inclusiveness, free merchandise, yes you read that correctly, free merchandise, 100% off, to anyone and everyone who can prove that they are not, pick one, a racist or a sexist or an Islamaphobe or a homophobe.

Dimple's LLC is located at 416 Main Street, downtown Racine.


Downtown Brown said...

Always a pleasure to read your commentary Mr "Dimple".. LOL. Other businesses have made the same choice to extend the offer to ALL customers on Saturday. Many will post TEA Party specials on their chalkboards, etc.

Now to your other point. As an American of European descent. Who lives in the most multi-racial, multi-ethnic, economically diverse city in the State of Wisconsin. I'm also very Homo-tolerant, (Is that a word?), And I have personally invited people of all of the above persuasions to attend our TEA Party event. (I haven't been able to find an Islamic person to invite yet...But I used to live in Detroit, which has the largest Arab and African descent population of any city in America). I also have friends who are multi-racial couples..(No really, I do!!And I "tolerate" them :^)).

I checked all of the "Tolerant" buttons. I'm really doing great here!...I know I'm not supposed to treat everyone the same I have to treat them all "special" if they are any of the above categories, in order to "prove" that I am treating them all "equal".

What time shall I come by to collect my 100% free chochkie, or Sarong? (Do Sarong's come in my size??) I could use some candles....hmmmmm

Denis Navratil said...

So leaving a community where blacks and Arabs live is your version of proof that you are not racist or Islamaphobic? No free merchandise for you!

BradK said...

THIS has got to prove something, right?

Denis Navratil said...

Yes BradK but I'm not sure what.

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