On July 23rd, the Journal Times ran a story regarding the Prairie School's decision to charge customers for the use of their tennis courts. Ordinarily I would not find this to be newsworthy, but apparently the JT thinks this is news. So I thought I would relay the follow news item to the Journal Times.
To whom it may concern at the Journal Times;
Aften a not-so-agonizing internal debate, the owners of Dimple's LLC in downtown Racine have decided to continue their present practice of charging customers money in exchange for merchandise. "The exchange of money for merchandise is a key component of our overall business strategy," noted company spokesperson Denis Navratil. "Besides, exhaustive research has revealed that charging money in exchange for goods and services is standard practice in a wide range of enterprises" Navratil continued. "For example, Wall Mart continues to charge for their products. So does my doctor. Even the public sector is getting in the game. I have to pay the government a sizeable chunk of cash for a small sticker that I adhere to the bumber of my car. Whats next! It would seem as if we are in the midst of a "charging for goods and services" epidemic." But some things in life remain free. Dimple's LLC has decided to allow any non-smoking, shoe and shirt wearing individuals a FREE opportunity to wander through our store. This offer is limited to the regularly scheduled hours posted on our door.
Feel free to print this news item in the paper.